Smile and Wave The rehabilitation of a family man – a blog by Dr Billy Willcock

Smile and Wave
Alberto and Erika

Our relationship had always been a turbulent one but, after fourteen years together, we have separated. In truth we had been drifting apart for a while; she’d grown old, worn at the edges, and my eyes had started to wander. I couldn’t really help it but I’d fallen for a younger (heavier) model. No doubt […]

New Life

I have failed in my New Year’s resolutions, but to lesser degrees than usual, which is excellent. ‘Dry January’ lasted an entire fortnight. I hadn’t touched a drop of wine until the third week of January when I was compelled to by thirst, and it just so happened that the wine was closer than the […]

Happy New Year

I have now put on enough weight for me to survive the rest of the winter and, now that it is the new year, I am resolved to lose it for the Spring. My other New Year’s resolutions are these: I will climb Everest. I will compete at the very top level of dog sledding. […]

The Prodigal Zebra
The Prodigal Zebra

Zebedee is a cuddly toy.  He is a 30cm long zebra with terrible posture and questionable hygiene.  He is the first cuddly toy that my two year old daughter Betsy truly loved.  Actually, we all loved that zebra, he had been Betsy’s best friend since birth.  She would take him everywhere; on the bus, to […]

Chaos Theory
Chaos Theory

Chaos theory states that whilst the present determines the future, the approximate present does not approximately determine the future.  It means you can’t control stuff because the tiniest of variables get compounded and amplified, altering future trajectories.  It is also commonly known as the butterfly effect, where the flapping of a butterfly’s wings in South […]

No Man’s Land

I had been pleased to get the invite; a fancy dress birthday party.  But no-one had told me that there was a theme.  That is why, aged twenty, I was dressed as the only Fairy Liquid bottle at a fetish themed party, surrounded by people dressed in ropes, chains and cling film.  Speaking through her […]

Madeleine Through
Madeleine Through

My older brother and I both built sheds shortly after our children were born.  They were statements of our virility; no plans, no kit, just nails, man-sweat and a whole lot of wood.  Mine is bigger, his is better and will certainly be the longer lasting erection.  My brother built his because he needed escape, […]

Bodhi’s Cage

There is not a man alive who is not afraid of his wife.  It stems from the captivity inherent in family life.  In 1973, a number of Swedish bank employees were held hostage in a bank vault for five days whilst the police negotiated their release.  During the stalemate, the hostages became emotionally attached to […]

The Wolf at the Door

I learnt to surf whilst living in Australia at the turn of the millennium.  Brought up in Rochdale, in the cold north, I don’t think I’d ever seen myself naked until the plane had touched down in Sydney (I had waited until I was in the privacy of my rented accommodation before I had disrobed) ;  […]

A Midlife Chronicle

My wife is indoors watching Great British Bake Off.  It’s 8pm, I’m in the back garden, it’s dark and it’s cold and I’m thinking rather too much about my death. I’m thirty eight years old.  I am a husband to Vicky, and a father to Betsy (aged two and three quarters) and to Hugo (aged […]

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